Following the ‘concern’ shown during last Wednesday’s Tops walk it has been decided that in the interests of safety, harmony, compassion and keeping the group together, the undernoted procedures (in order to slow the fastest down to the speed of the slowest) will take effect on future walks:
Paul will carry Allan’s rucksack.
Rex, the Tojomeister, will carry Allan.
Davie, aka Pop of the Tops, will pull a large ball behind him (no change there then).
Ian will be in charge of communications. He will source two empty tin cans and a length of string not less than half a mile long.
Robert will be handcuffed to Johnny. He will also carry a swear box, Johnny for the use of. (Helen to make sure that Johnny has a supply of large denomination notes sufficient for a 4 hour walk).
Alan to ride shotgun. On the days he is unavailable, Frank McAvennie has offered his services.
Jimmy to sweettalk Sadie in to providing stovie and beer stops every mile. Jimmy will provide the glasses and will organise the Cooncil to retrieve same after every walk.
Peter will hypnotise Holly with his stories and jokes.
2 comments:
Emminently sensible proposals, Allan, and I am certain that they will be given due consideration by the executive. I would also propose that Ronnie is attached to Jimmy's glasses by a length of string so that he will be able to find them quicker.
If Davie could actually train Holly to do what she is supposed to do and keep the flock together, rather than allowing her to chase after sticks, stanes, sprigs of heather, snowballs, tree roots, plastic bottles, fence posts, railways sleepers, big dugs, wee dugs, in-between dugs, rabbits, hares, pheasants, grouse and hairy coos, Allan's very sensible suggestions would not be necessary.
However, someone else would have to volunteer to do the navigating.
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