The Ooters Song

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The Ooters Song by Davie C (sung to the Work of the Weavers)

Chorus

If it wisnae for the Ooters, where would you be

You'd be sitting in the hoose or in the library.

So get off your chair, get oot the door and come along wi' me

We're going for a walk wi' the Ooters

The ooters they like curry, the Ooters they like beer.

And when the two come along as one they'll raise a mighty cheer

And then it's off to Wetherspoon's cause the others are too dear

We're going for a drink wi' the Ooters

The bridges walk in Glasgow is one we like the best

Cause when we've finished walking ,we end up at the West

German beer and German food, we'll put them to the test

You're out for your lunch wi' the Ooters

The Ooters they do culture, the Ooters they like art

And Glasgow City Concert Hall is always where we start

A play, A pie, A panto, those three all play their part

But you need to give a pint to the Ooters

The Ooters go to Mosset, to Robert's house in France

And when the spirit takes them they like to sing and dance

But as for rumpy-pumpy, there's not a bloody chance

Tu es en vacances avec les Ooters

When the Ooters do a Burns Supper it's really very good

Wi' poetry, speeches and drinking to complement the food

And for Scottish Independence they're really in the mood

You're gonnae get your freedom wi' the Ooters

The Ooter's dug is Holly, she is fit and she is braw

She runs beside us wi' a stick and sometimes wi' a baw

But to some folk's consternation she'll no gie a f***in' paw

But she always finds the way for the Ooters

Oor Rex is an Australian, in his house we play pool

With promised pies and drinking, the turnout's always full

And in the competition, Robert tells us he is no fool,

But it's in off the black in front o' the Ooters

We like to go to Arran, the island in the west 
A free dram on the ferry, before the walk is best
and the terrace of the Douglas, is where we like to rest
You're going up Goatfell wi' the Ooters.

On  wee trips to the Cumbrae, we wander roon and roon
Fintry Bay, the Gladestone and back into the toon
But the ferry to the mainland it brings us back too soon.
You're going doon the watter wi' the Ooters

Wee Davie he loves driving, the Killie lot he drives
Poor eyesight and poor hearing, against them both he strives
So  they're always very happy when he finally arrives
O the open road's the place  for the Ooters

Oor Ronnie is a hypno and psychoanalyst
When he's no analysing he likes to raise his wrist
So it's best that you consult him before he gets too pissed
You'll find that there's no nutters in the Ooters

Old Davy is the kitty man, he keeps us all in line
A fiver from each one who's there will fill the purse just fine
It's beer and crisps for all the lads, but Rex, he'll have a wine
It's fun in the pub wi' the Ooters.

Malcolm Campbell likes to read, he is a bookish man
He also is a Cubanophile and goes there when he can
And as for Karen Gillan, he'd like to gie her wan
Oh we're very intellectual in the Ooters.

The day we went to Muirkirk , it wisnae very dry.
The rain it poured, the wind it blew, there were dark clouds in the sky
But Bob he used a brolly, he's a canny sort of guy
Oh, you sometimes get a soakin' wi' the Ooters